Herkie the Dog's World Musings
Does Anybody On Board Know How To Fly A Plane?
5:30 AM, Saturday, April 3. There is nothing on TV at this hour except a lot of bad informercials. Ronco this. Thighmaster that. All sorts of channels on the modern cable television system and no one is showing anything.
Except for Animal Planet. And the Westminster Dog Show. What better distraction from a contraction than watching a black lab win the Sporting Breed prize?
As we watched the dogs and their handlers run in circles on TV, the medical staff continued to check in and monitor equipment. Digital readouts heralded the arrival of another contraction. With Christie, this monitor served, to us at least, as a not so welcome early warning system. I could watch the graphs, alert Lisa of a coming contraction, and turn around just in time to see her gritting her teeth and telling me in no uncertain terms how useless I was. This time, with a functioning epidural, the machine really did serve a purpose in letting us know about a contraction that Lisa wasn't feeling.
As nurses continued to check away, a demure looking woman in scrubs walked in. The best way to describe her would have been, to quote Douglas Adams, "mostly harmless." There was definitely a familiar air about her though. Something that I just couldn't quite put my finger on. Then she spoke, and it became very obvious what it was.
She was a splitting image of the "Elaine" character from the movie "Airplane."
Although I can't remember exactly what she had said, the words that should have come out her mouth were "Does anybody know how to fly a plane?" Everything about her-the look, the voice, the personality, was an exact clone of Julie Hagerty. Lisa and I purposely avoided eye contact for fear of busting out in laughter. And anything that could cause fits of laughter during a contraction is unquestionably flat out funny.
A poodle crossed the TV screen as the clock showed 6 AM. Change of shift. New nurses showed up. New residents. And a new doctor. And just like that, I became the only male in the whole LDR wing.
Except for Animal Planet. And the Westminster Dog Show. What better distraction from a contraction than watching a black lab win the Sporting Breed prize?
As we watched the dogs and their handlers run in circles on TV, the medical staff continued to check in and monitor equipment. Digital readouts heralded the arrival of another contraction. With Christie, this monitor served, to us at least, as a not so welcome early warning system. I could watch the graphs, alert Lisa of a coming contraction, and turn around just in time to see her gritting her teeth and telling me in no uncertain terms how useless I was. This time, with a functioning epidural, the machine really did serve a purpose in letting us know about a contraction that Lisa wasn't feeling.
As nurses continued to check away, a demure looking woman in scrubs walked in. The best way to describe her would have been, to quote Douglas Adams, "mostly harmless." There was definitely a familiar air about her though. Something that I just couldn't quite put my finger on. Then she spoke, and it became very obvious what it was.
She was a splitting image of the "Elaine" character from the movie "Airplane."
Although I can't remember exactly what she had said, the words that should have come out her mouth were "Does anybody know how to fly a plane?" Everything about her-the look, the voice, the personality, was an exact clone of Julie Hagerty. Lisa and I purposely avoided eye contact for fear of busting out in laughter. And anything that could cause fits of laughter during a contraction is unquestionably flat out funny.
A poodle crossed the TV screen as the clock showed 6 AM. Change of shift. New nurses showed up. New residents. And a new doctor. And just like that, I became the only male in the whole LDR wing.
posted by Jon at
7:07 PM
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