Doggy Porn

It is amazing how many mailing lists you can find yourself on.

Take my dog, for instance. In fact, take him for a walk. He'd like that.

Anyway, the canine up at the top left corner is considered by the mail order catalog industry to be a full fledged consumer. That's because some time ago, we decided to do an experiment to track what type of mailing lists a person can get on just by sending away for some dog food coupons. Naturally, we had the request come from the main consumer of the dog food: one Hercules Dog, also known as H.D.

In that one instant, when the $1.00 off Iams coupon was remitted, Herk Dog became subject to all the advertising that bombards us on a daily basis. It took a while at first, but soon little doggy merchandise catalogs started arriving in the mail for Herkie, er, H. D. And that was fine with us because again, Herkie is the primary consumer of items targeted for the canine demographic in this household.

But soon, Herkie became the recipient of many things not so dog related. An invitation to join the Handyman Club...numerous credit card applications ("Because of your excellent credit, you may apply for a Visa with a limit of $20,000!" Well of course Herkie's credit is good. He doesn't owe anything!)...magazine subscriptions (not just "Dog's Life," but also "Boy's Life" and "Nun's Life" as well as "Maxim.")

But today, the bar has been raised. Or maybe lowered. That's because Herk got an invitation to request a catalog from Adam & Eve, the "Nation's Largest Marketer of Adult Products." Herk can now obtain a catalog full of "Free Sexy Adult Products." All for originally submitting his name to get some deals on dog food.

I wonder if we should let the Adam & Eve people know that Mr. H. D. is neutered?

Oh...one more thing. Adam & Eve actually has a mission statement. Somehow, I find that strangely appropriate.