The Annoying Kid Next Door

A story from the September 13th Michigan Daily about two kids growing up together.


"Sup Bo!!!!!!!!!!!"
"Oh sweet merciful crap," Bo thought to himself.

He knew that greeting could come from just one person: His 18-year-old neighbor, Sparty. For Bo, Sparty wasn't always the annoying little spaz that he is today. He used to be pretty quiet in fact. But one day, for some unrealistic reason, Sparty decided that he wanted nothing more than to be like his friend, Bo, who is four years older than him.

Bo is convinced that once Chip, Sparty's former friend, beat Sparty up twice in the early 1990's and then moved away, Sparty decided that even though Bo would have nothing to do with him, he was at least someone to strive to be like.

Now, it must be understood that Bo feels bad for Sparty sometimes, even to the point where Bo lets Sparty win at some pointless game. But recently, that's all that has been on Sparty's mind. Always wearing Abercrombie and Fitch (Sparty's "manly and cool clothes") Sparty goes over to Bo's house everyday to challenge him in something. Usually it will be at something requiring athleticism, and Bo will win. Sparty will go home crying, and then show up the next day.

Bo has been such an understanding friend that when he broke his leg from a car crash in his aunt's automobile, he still competed with Sparty in basketball-the little dork's favorite game. Of course Sparty beat the disabled and pain-filled Bo-as did a girl dressed in purple named Kat. And with each victory, Sparty became more and more obnoxious. Even though Bo could defeat him in everything else, Sparty would just concentrate on that as much as he could.

But Bo kept good about it. He just smiled and went along with it-since it gave Sparty happiness, then it made him happy.

There were two times that Bo did become furious with Sparty, though. Once in the early '90s, Bo and Sparty were playing football on a video game. Just as Bo was about to score the game-winning two-point conversion (because Sparty was so young, Bo let him stay in the game) Sparty pulled the plug on the remote control, stopping his receiver's motion and allowing the pass to go incomplete. But it was cool because Bo would just go to his friend Rose's house, one place where Sparty was banned from going.

In 2001, the final straw was basically broken. Sparty and Bo were on opposite teams of a seven-on-seven football game during a weekend that Bo came home from college. Bo and his boys had won the game according to the dinner-time rule-as Sparty had to go home. So as Bo and his group were walking away into the endzone, Sparty yelled, "One more play!" And before Bo could regroup, Sparty scored a cheap touchdown.

To say the least, Bo was pissed. With a healed leg in the 2002-2003 school year, Bo went into his next football game against Sparty with one purpose: Destroy. After that shellacking, some of Sparty's friends turned on him and left. And then to crush Sparty even more, Bo took him down in basketball. Bo even gave him a chance to win towards the end, just so it'd hurt more.

But now, as though he'll never change, Sparty still challenges Bo. Sometimes Sparty still "wins," but deep down he knows the truth of his victories.